KING BIDGOOD'S IN THE BATHTUB :: this is crazy stuff, full of the absurd - a ton of fun to read!

KING BIDGOOD'S IN THE BATHTUB :: this is crazy stuff, full of the absurd - a ton of fun to read!

Ages baby to 8 years
Do you read to kids in the bath?  When ours were small, a couple of them simply couldn't see the value of a bath.  But they could see the value of a story. So I would read while they soaked away a day of grime.

King Bidgood's in the Bathtub is one that’s a ton of fun to read – anytime really, but especially in the tub. There's trouble: ‘King Bidgood’s in the bathtub, and he won't get out!’

A poor young Page has the job of alerting all and sundry to the problem – and he does a terrific job. First the Knight, then the Queen, then the Duke, and finally the whole Court try to entice King Bidgood out of the tub.  It’s all to no avail and the King just conducts the business of the day in the enormous tub. (In the end it’s the Page who saves the day.)

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hooray for a decent prince and a woman with a bit of spunk!

hooray for a decent prince and a woman with a bit of spunk!

ages 2 to 12 years
A brilliant gift book. We have quite a collection of princess-and-the-pea stories, mainly because Alec (our second son) was called Princess for quite a few years after a camp where he slept on a whole pile of mattresses. This one is great. Prince Henrik needs to find a proper princess to be his wife - and he does! 

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TERENCE THE TOILET TRAVELS THE WORLD :: a toilet with a yearning for enlightenment :)

TERENCE THE TOILET TRAVELS THE WORLD :: a toilet with a yearning for enlightenment :)

Ages 4 to grown-up
I mentioned to my adult children that I was going to do a top 5 on ‘poo’ books, and Terence the Toilet was the first book they each thought of!

When you’re a ‘bog-standard’ toilet, chances are there are magazines left in the bathroom with you – magazines that show ‘exotic bathrooms in exotic places all over the world’. And that can leave you feeling restless and unsatisfied. 

That’s what happened to Terence – and I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that most of us have felt that way too after leafing through the magazines left in the bathroom.

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THE STORY OF THE LITTLE MOLE WHO KNEW IT WAS NONE OF HIS BUSINESS :: spoiler alert, it was Basil the butcher's dog!

THE STORY OF THE LITTLE MOLE WHO KNEW IT WAS NONE OF HIS BUSINESS :: spoiler alert, it was Basil the butcher's dog!

Ages 2 to 12 years
Wanna hear a joke? There was once a family of moles who decided to go for a walk in the sunshine.  First there was Daddy Mole, then Mummy Mole, then Sister Mole, then Brother Mole, then Baby Mole – all walking in a line with their noses to the ground. 

Suddenly Daddy Mole stopped and said, “I smell honey – do you smell honey Mummy Mole?” 
Mummy Mole sniffed the air and said, “I do smell honey – do you smell honey Sister Mole?” 
Sister Mole sniffed the air then said, “I do smell honey – do you smell Brother Mole?”
Brother Mole sniffed the air then said, “I do smell honey – do you smell honey Baby Mole?” 
Baby Mole sniffed the air and said, “I don’t smell honey but I do smell mole-asses!”  (Molasses – get it?)

My kids thought it was the funniest, most risqué joke they’d ever heard when my Dad told it – on the day we bought The Story of the Little Mole 

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VESUVIUS POOVIUS :: toilets matter! (world toilet day is November 19)

VESUVIUS POOVIUS :: toilets matter! (world toilet day is November 19)

Ages 4 to 12 years
Vesuvius is a problem solver – and Rome has a big problem. A poo problem. 

No one knows what to do with all the poo. It’s so bad that ‘Some people even dropped it into other people’s pockets when they weren’t looking.”  (Now if that line doesn’t bring at least a grimacy smirk to your face I don’t know what will.)

Because poo is such a problem, it’s also a “forbiddenus wordus’, which leads to a whole slew of hilarious euphemisms like ‘huge daffodil’ and ‘cola cube’. Aside from all the usual uses for a poo book, this one does a great job of teaching how and when and why to use a euphamism.

Vesuvius – clever if marginalised chap that he is – figures out the solution:  tunnels and rain. 

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THE FLY :: a bit gross but funny!

THE FLY :: a bit gross but funny!

Ages 4 to grown-up
Fair warning – this one is kind of gross. It’s the story of a fly who learns that swimming can be very dangerous – well, if you go swimming in a toilet bowl. The fly is merrily swimming away when suddenly everything goes dark, then it starts to ‘rain’ and then a huge (brown) ‘meteorite’ comes crashing into the pool. It really is gross.

I’ve given away the punch line – but when you read this out loud try not to give anything away until the dreadful realisation comes when the fly hears “a voice saying: ‘Mum, Mum! I’ve finished.’”  It’s a brilliant moment – usually followed by all manner of groanings.

So – why read such a gross book? 

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to make little ones blush and giggle

to make little ones blush and giggle

A sequel to Baa Baa Smart Sheep, this time Quirky Turkey tries to take revenge on Little Baa Baa by giving Little Baa Baa a glass of ‘lemonade’ – it all backfires horribly. I guess we’ve all been the turkey at some point – and possibly the sheep at some point too . . .

ages toddler to 12 years / funny

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